The parts of you that never left


Put it all down. That which you’ve been clutching like a last dying breath, let it slip through your fingers. Open your palms in reverence, in prostration to the unknown.

Put it all down, let it fall where it may, and leave. Don’t look down, don’t look back. That which is meant to, will follow you.

When you move thousands of miles, it takes a while for parts of you to catch up. Geography, distance, miles, and mountains mean different things to different parts of ourselves.

Our Hope, our Hearts, our Dreams, our Caught Breath and Licked Lips, our Poised Haunches – these all travel with us at any speed that our bodies can withstand.

Sometimes we can travel so fast and far that we disorient some of our Patterns. They are left spinning in the whirlwinds and whirlpools left over from the launch. Out of this dizzying whirl they right themselves, straighten their waistcoats, smooth their mustaches, adjust their spectacles, and squint their eyes in the direction of the settling dust. And with a pocketing of the watch and a clearing of their throats that somehow redeems their dignity, they set off at an earnest, steady pace. There is a confidence in their gait; they know they will catch up, no matter how fast or far we go.

Alas, one morning, in your new surroundings, you awake with a start to discover a very old and very familiar bedfellow. Patterns was not there – stealing the covers and kicking your calves – just hours before. But here he is, staring you in the face, breath reeking of yesterday, his weight and mass tipping you towards him. A rude awakening to say the least.

And then there are the Deeper Callings – the magicians, the sages. They have old hearts and big souls. When you desert them, they respond with the compassion and patience of the Buddha. They do not chase after you, they do not dissolve into frenzy. Instead they find a cozy perch. Perhaps a small sigh escapes as they watch you fly the coup. They settle in for a timeless wait. Your Deeper Callings need not follow you. They are shape shifters, all-knowers, time evaders, and space shakers. Their convictions ring truer as yours waver. They are forever worth-embodied. They are the truest believers, and like the most destined of lovers, know you will never truly, fully separate.

Deeper Callings will hear you sound the alarm. It will come bellowing up out of you, a surprising, deep and rich vibration both foreign and found. And in that instant they are by your side. Hello old friend, you say. I missed you. And they respond, We never left.


july 24, 2014

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