follow it to find it

I’m having this fascinating experience of witnessing my life heading in a direction that I was not expecting. There are things I assume that I know about myself, that I make shit happen, that I build community and hold center and network. That I live in a certain place and do certain things. And I also assume to know what that is supposed to look like, how the details unfold for all of that to happen. And yet, the flow is spinning me in the opposite direction of all the constructs I have erected. I’m feeling the epic power and glory of god, the web of life, the great mystery, so clearly steering me away from my assumptions into a situation of many unknowns. I am afraid. I feel at the mercy of this great wisdom, like I have been bent and broken by a will far greater than my own. And even through all this blustery battering about that has been my life these past few months, I uncover the silent, peaceful center of myself, where the light of faith never went out.

december 30, 2015

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