From Trauma to Magic

I’m taking a risk. I hope you will come and be brave with me.

At Moon Mountain Gathering | Nevada City, CA, I will be leading a two part workshop: “from Trauma to Magic – Individual and Collective healing through Embodiment”

My hope is to provide a brave space where we can find individual and collective resource, so that we may look at the underbelly of trauma and begin (or continue) to heal it together, in mindfulness, in movement, in individual and collective body.

What does it mean to do this work in a space that is multi-racial, multi-ethnic, with diverse expressions of gender and sexuality, ability and class all (potentially) present? What happens when we move and shout and grieve together? What do we have the resiliency to work through together? Can we find a way into each other’s hearts and hands among and through our differences?

If I’m totally honest and vulnerable, I’m scared about how this will all play out. And I think in this current climate – where we are all unpacking a very complicated, centuries-old, deeply traumatic issue, without so much as a guidebook or map – there may be a little bit of reservation, fear, and uncertainty in the collective field about stepping into this work together, at all.

So I’m stepping in, to this field that is Moon Mountain Gathering, to see how I do, to learn, to perhaps be uncomfortable, but with the knowledge that this discomfort serves my growth and the health of the communities I want to be a part of.

So how does who I am effect how I come to this Gathering?

As a white latina, I have always enjoyed the privilege of my white skin, and for most of my life, I’ve been unaware of those benefits. More recently, I have been getting in touch with the grief and loss of what assimilation has done to my latino identity – a loss I am just beginning to learn how to recover. In general, I often feel in between two poles, but often too shy to admit or call myself anything but the white exterior that you all see.

And so, I am sitting with how my appearance and my heritage place me as a facilitator for this gathering. Will there be preconceived notions about what I know and don’t know, who I am and what I’m capable of based on what I look like? Probably. Will they be accurate? Possibly. Can I be known beyond these preconceptions? Can I be brave in my vulnerability to share how the story of my life is written in my body and in my movement, and invite you to do the same? Will you feel safe engaging in this experience with me? I very much hope so. Am I afraid of being called out for blind spots where the white supremacist mentality still wins? Yes. Am I going anyway? You betcha.

Have I educated myself enough to offer a safe space for people of color? No. I will never know that experience, so how could I possibly offer a safe space? Could I offer a brave space, where there is a collective striving for understanding and addressing complexities that block inclusion, access, and unity? I sure hope so. I will do the best I can, and walk as humbly as I can.

What I care about here is finding the way forward in the most peace and harmony. I can’t pretend I have the answers or know what it looks like. I can’t promise that my bias and agendas won’t get in the way or make me think I do have the answers, sometimes. But I can promise to let myself be called in, to open my ears and eyes, my skin cells and my heart. To let you in. To expand my felt sense of what it is to be human, with you.

photo by @maryswcampbell. @wearemoonmountain

September 8, 2018

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