A Solstice Prayer

Beneath the dark it is silent. A matted muted room with no view but too much feeling. A dampened cry of all your vanquished wishes. Festering, languishing, perpetually and unendingly unfulfilled. This longing the stuff of starvation, the ever hungry ghost. And here you are, with all your demons, all your ghosts, all your lost loves…

The life raft of hope

The moment of relief does not come at the time you expect it to. It comes sooner than you had anticipated, sooner than it makes sense. The relief and hope that was a mythical life raft, a distant mirage, a feeling and a moment that you had begun to believe may never come. You’ve been…

A one-way ticket to unfathomable newness

It’s time to tell the story of how I got here. It is summer of 2012. It is 4am as I find myself walking down a deserted midtown street in Manhattan. High and happy from the outpouring of love at my first Amma gathering, I was finally able to drag myself away. I float home…

may we travel deeper and wider

may we travel deeper and wider each spiraling pathway towards our one. love may the lines in our face now upswing with laughter the universe doesn’t mind either way we started out together with life in mid-sprint ravellings and unravellings to tend and I don’t know where we are headed, but I like to think it’s…

My heart is re-membering

My heart is re-membering. A patchwork quilt assembled with hurried, misshapen stitches, flung together in a life of just-keep-going. These days it’s been a turning towards, undoing the sloppy job and smoothing out the wrinkles, reviewing and re-piecing back together with certainty and care. I remember you, thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please…

From Trauma to Magic

I’m taking a risk. I hope you will come and be brave with me. At Moon Mountain Gathering | Nevada City, CA, I will be leading a two part workshop: “from Trauma to Magic – Individual and Collective healing through Embodiment” My hope is to provide a brave space where we can find individual and collective…

the full spectrum beloved

The most beautiful sunsets arrive in my eyes this time of year. The kind of amazing that brings gasps through open mouths, wind whistling through my teeth. Heart dropped into guts kind of beautiful. A startling red sun dipping behind the mountains, illuminating a patchwork of jewel toned clouds. It’s not the light itself that…

A path we know by heart

It has been five years. Just now, a bluebird alighted on the topmost branch of the tree in front of my window. I am brought back to the tree outside my bedroom window in my old apartment in Jersey City. It is January and almost dawn. We’ve been up all night, my last hurrah before…

On letting your loss point you towards your love

The story I will tell of these two years in Nevada City is that I came here to heal. I came here to heal the obvious wounds, and the wounds that were more hidden – deeper, older, more obscure, in some ways forgotten, and in some ways brimming to the surface in the wake of…

Returning of the light – the 2017 Christmas Story

On December 7, 2017, the 2 year anniversary (to the day) of being mugged at gunpoint, my car was broken into for the 3rd time. I made the stupid move of leaving my bag (with laptop) in my car for 20 minutes in Temescal, Oakland. I came back to a smashed window and my bag,…

On Resiliency, and the Spiraling Dark Nights of the Soul

Reading a post of mine from two years ago (around the time of my bottom of the well posts)…I feel a sense of exultation and completion. And even so, I am always cycling through these great spirals of life, hoping to level up and get it, really get it, this time… From my vantage point…

thank you, longing

There is something perfect and right about this longing. yes longing. thank you. thank you for the reminder that I’m alive and that my heart is so so so big. Thank you heart for reminding me that there is never just one way to love, or parameters to follow, or prescribed time to wait, and…