follow it to find it

I’m having this fascinating experience of witnessing my life heading in a direction that I was not expecting. There are things I assume that I know about myself, that I make shit happen, that I build community and hold center and network. That I live in a certain place and do certain things. And I…

The Morning Before (arriving at Burning Man 2012)

It took until morning to realize what she’d done. For the gravity of this leap to fully settle. She had spent hours and hours planning and packing, booking flights and cars, researching and learning how to survive on the playa, had coordinated all the details like the pro-organizer she was, and not once had she…

The parts of you that never left

Put it all down. That which you’ve been clutching like a last dying breath, let it slip through your fingers. Open your palms in reverence, in prostration to the unknown. Put it all down, let it fall where it may, and leave. Don’t look down, don’t look back. That which is meant to, will follow…

Clean Slate and Leaps of Faith: 2013 in Review

I spend a lot of time looking forward, looking at what I still need, what I’m lacking, what’s missing, so that I know what to strive for. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for gratitude. So, today I’m looking back at what I’ve accomplished in 2013, in gratitude and awe. Basically, I’m just trying…

A Prayer for Divine Ownership

This is me, being in what I want. In the pain and the struggle of it. I’m sitting watching the sun set over the bay, and from this peaceful perch I can see it all with a clear head. I’ve asked for this and for this I’m grateful. I know these trials serve me. This…

You must ask for what you really want

I’m being a perfectionist. After a month of entering “north oakland” and “berekeley” into the box under rooms/shares on craigslist, pouring over house photos, google maps and postings with phrases like “cozy collective,” “queer identifying,” and “family-style,” biking all over the east bay, meeting people at open-house potlucks and one-on-four interviews, turning down 3 offers…

note to self: give up

Give up. Give up all the ways you’re stopping yourself. Give up all the excuses you’ve given yourself to stall happiness. Give up the notion that you can’t have it all (or any of it), that you don’t deserve to discover the layers of your heart. Give up the fear that’s holding your hand, pinning…

Co-piloting with the Universe

Step 1: Name your dreams. Not your half dreams, not the dreams you think are within your reach, or the dreams you think you are worthy of. Dream with your heart. Dream as big as you love. Step 2: Thank the universe. Thank her for providing all that you need to fulfill these dreams. Thank…