may we travel deeper and wider

may we travel deeper and wider each spiraling pathway towards our one. love may the lines in our face now upswing with laughter the universe doesn’t mind either way we started out together with life in mid-sprint ravellings and unravellings to tend and I don’t know where we are headed, but I like to think it’s…

On Resiliency, and the Spiraling Dark Nights of the Soul

Reading a post of mine from two years ago (around the time of my bottom of the well posts)…I feel a sense of exultation and completion. And even so, I am always cycling through these great spirals of life, hoping to level up and get it, really get it, this time… From my vantage point…

thank you, longing

There is something perfect and right about this longing. yes longing. thank you. thank you for the reminder that I’m alive and that my heart is so so so big. Thank you heart for reminding me that there is never just one way to love, or parameters to follow, or prescribed time to wait, and…

the veils are thin

The veils are thin. My dreams are making music with my life. The beloved is dancing with me through all forms. Right now it is the tall pines next to me that hold in the silence and tiniest baby lizard doing pushups in the sun. If I’m still enough, these details become the foreground, the…

On grief, and the way it moves in my body

Once we have grieved something, does grief ever fully leave our hearts, or do we walk with it always? This morning I woke up feeling good, that anchor of loss that’s been following me the last few weeks, that descends into the center of my chest upon waking, was absent. Even the nature of it…

The bridge she did not cross

The snow muted all sound except the crunch beneath her feet and her escalating breath. Her destination was the top of a ridge across a small, icy river. Looking for a way to cross the water and scale the ridge, she happened across a snow-covered bridge, a delicate arch of dark red wood, slim boards,…

What to do when grieving and lost. Advice from the bottom of the well.

I’m no expert. Just my experience and what is helping me cope with some hard times. Some of these ways of coping contradict each other. Maybe that’s the nature of the beast. Maybe you will find something useful here, amidst the confusion and the contradiction. 1) Accept the bigness of your feelings. Don’t waste the…

Bottom of the well

Like sludge at the bottom of a dried up well. Hundreds of feet of earth towers over me, the opening, a pinprick of sky, far beyond my reaches. My buckled body, folded in on itself, this deep dark mud slicked over forearms, streaked across my face, smeared on knocking knees. An out-breath. A shattering. My…

8 Ways Manifest, Using the Mundane and the Magical.

It’s the weight of a deep out-breath. It brings me into my body, lands me in my every cell. I feel muscles and skin and joints spread, befriending gravity in this expansive exhale.  The magic with which the last few months have unfolded have given me even more evidence that the fabric of reality is…

The Morning Before (arriving at Burning Man 2012)

It took until morning to realize what she’d done. For the gravity of this leap to fully settle. She had spent hours and hours planning and packing, booking flights and cars, researching and learning how to survive on the playa, had coordinated all the details like the pro-organizer she was, and not once had she…

The Seduction of Daydreams – Why Positive Thinking is Not Enough

I notice this feeling I get when I daydream. It happens when I daydream about anything – more money, my next romance, the living situation I’m calling in, the car I will buy, my most perfect holiday plans, next summer’s adventures. When I dip into this reality in the dream space in my mind, I…