On letting your loss point you towards your love

The story I will tell of these two years in Nevada City is that I came here to heal. I came here to heal the obvious wounds, and the wounds that were more hidden – deeper, older, more obscure, in some ways forgotten, and in some ways brimming to the surface in the wake of…

What to do when grieving and lost. Advice from the bottom of the well.

I’m no expert. Just my experience and what is helping me cope with some hard times. Some of these ways of coping contradict each other. Maybe that’s the nature of the beast. Maybe you will find something useful here, amidst the confusion and the contradiction. 1) Accept the bigness of your feelings. Don’t waste the…

Beloved, I am here

The leaves start falling around here with what seems like no notice. The air has not changed, in fact, this September is warmer than the months it follows. There has been no cold snap, and no real hint of winter to facilitate leaves falling, or even changing color. And yet here they come – and…

The Morning Before (arriving at Burning Man 2012)

It took until morning to realize what she’d done. For the gravity of this leap to fully settle. She had spent hours and hours planning and packing, booking flights and cars, researching and learning how to survive on the playa, had coordinated all the details like the pro-organizer she was, and not once had she…

The parts of you that never left

Put it all down. That which you’ve been clutching like a last dying breath, let it slip through your fingers. Open your palms in reverence, in prostration to the unknown. Put it all down, let it fall where it may, and leave. Don’t look down, don’t look back. That which is meant to, will follow…

the magic of goodbye and hello

The sand sprays over the shining water, and rains down into the foam of the most recently crested wave. In the air, the carefully sculpted sand-balls burst into millions of tiny grains, diffusing what we had built, what we can’t live without, what we must live without. We hold hands and watch our gift to…

Clean Slate and Leaps of Faith: 2013 in Review

I spend a lot of time looking forward, looking at what I still need, what I’m lacking, what’s missing, so that I know what to strive for. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for gratitude. So, today I’m looking back at what I’ve accomplished in 2013, in gratitude and awe. Basically, I’m just trying…