A path we know by heart

It has been five years. Just now, a bluebird alighted on the topmost branch of the tree in front of my window. I am brought back to the tree outside my bedroom window in my old apartment in Jersey City. It is January and almost dawn. We’ve been up all night, my last hurrah before…

On letting your loss point you towards your love

The story I will tell of these two years in Nevada City is that I came here to heal. I came here to heal the obvious wounds, and the wounds that were more hidden – deeper, older, more obscure, in some ways forgotten, and in some ways brimming to the surface in the wake of…

On Resiliency, and the Spiraling Dark Nights of the Soul

Reading a post of mine from two years ago (around the time of my bottom of the well posts)…I feel a sense of exultation and completion. And even so, I am always cycling through these great spirals of life, hoping to level up and get it, really get it, this time… From my vantage point…

follow it to find it

I’m having this fascinating experience of witnessing my life heading in a direction that I was not expecting. There are things I assume that I know about myself, that I make shit happen, that I build community and hold center and network. That I live in a certain place and do certain things. And I…

8 Ways Manifest, Using the Mundane and the Magical.

It’s the weight of a deep out-breath. It brings me into my body, lands me in my every cell. I feel muscles and skin and joints spread, befriending gravity in this expansive exhale.  The magic with which the last few months have unfolded have given me even more evidence that the fabric of reality is…

Walking on Water, Laying Bricks

The birds are walking on water, and I’m laying bricks around my heart. The water this morning is deep enough to be a glassy surface, deep enough that some smaller birds are still paddling, leaving concentric ripples with their even strokes. I can only tell the tide is receding when they change flippers into legs,…

Clean Slate and Leaps of Faith: 2013 in Review

I spend a lot of time looking forward, looking at what I still need, what I’m lacking, what’s missing, so that I know what to strive for. It doesn’t leave a lot of room for gratitude. So, today I’m looking back at what I’ve accomplished in 2013, in gratitude and awe. Basically, I’m just trying…