may we travel deeper and wider

may we travel deeper and wider each spiraling pathway towards our one. love may the lines in our face now upswing with laughter the universe doesn’t mind either way we started out together with life in mid-sprint ravellings and unravellings to tend and I don’t know where we are headed, but I like to think it’s…

On letting your loss point you towards your love

The story I will tell of these two years in Nevada City is that I came here to heal. I came here to heal the obvious wounds, and the wounds that were more hidden – deeper, older, more obscure, in some ways forgotten, and in some ways brimming to the surface in the wake of…

thank you, longing

There is something perfect and right about this longing. yes longing. thank you. thank you for the reminder that I’m alive and that my heart is so so so big. Thank you heart for reminding me that there is never just one way to love, or parameters to follow, or prescribed time to wait, and…

Bottom of the well

Like sludge at the bottom of a dried up well. Hundreds of feet of earth towers over me, the opening, a pinprick of sky, far beyond my reaches. My buckled body, folded in on itself, this deep dark mud slicked over forearms, streaked across my face, smeared on knocking knees. An out-breath. A shattering. My…

Beloved, I am here

The leaves start falling around here with what seems like no notice. The air has not changed, in fact, this September is warmer than the months it follows. There has been no cold snap, and no real hint of winter to facilitate leaves falling, or even changing color. And yet here they come – and…

Small Bites

My heart is at it again. I woke up this morning with that familiar feeling of longing, the sumptuous indulgence of replaying certain moments from last night. I stretch and sink deeper under covers, lips curved at the thought of a hand on my back, a piercing exchange, the curiously familiar sensation of this new…

Walking on Water, Laying Bricks

The birds are walking on water, and I’m laying bricks around my heart. The water this morning is deep enough to be a glassy surface, deep enough that some smaller birds are still paddling, leaving concentric ripples with their even strokes. I can only tell the tide is receding when they change flippers into legs,…

the magic of goodbye and hello

The sand sprays over the shining water, and rains down into the foam of the most recently crested wave. In the air, the carefully sculpted sand-balls burst into millions of tiny grains, diffusing what we had built, what we can’t live without, what we must live without. We hold hands and watch our gift to…

This longing…

This longing. Sitting with you is like dining with an old lover. We embrace each other from across the table with a long, silent gaze. Words, dialogue, small talk, sounds we make to fill the silence are all no longer necessary. I’m more acquainted with you then with the object of my longing. Objects are…

The fullness of longing

There is something about October. About the light that turns extra golden in the late afternoon. Something about the warmth of the sun and the cool of the air that lures smells of home-cooking, warmth, and habitation out from cracked windows and doors, yawning open for the last few lazy times before cold and hibernation…

A Prayer for Divine Ownership

This is me, being in what I want. In the pain and the struggle of it. I’m sitting watching the sun set over the bay, and from this peaceful perch I can see it all with a clear head. I’ve asked for this and for this I’m grateful. I know these trials serve me. This…

Meeting Myself

After the whirlwind of Burning Man subsided, I realized that I had gone there to do just one thing: meet myself. I remember a conversation I had prior to Burning Man where we set our intentions for how we wanted to move through that playground, that lab. I remember fumbling for my answer, and then…