may we travel deeper and wider

may we travel deeper and wider each spiraling pathway towards our one. love may the lines in our face now upswing with laughter the universe doesn’t mind either way we started out together with life in mid-sprint ravellings and unravellings to tend and I don’t know where we are headed, but I like to think it’s…

And that was the beginning of you tending to yourself.

My therapist asked me if there was a time in my life when I had been left by someone, and I missed them terribly, but was still able to stay with myself. A memory came to me of being heartbroken over a man named Alex. I was on my roof deck on 8th St in…

the veils are thin

The veils are thin. My dreams are making music with my life. The beloved is dancing with me through all forms. Right now it is the tall pines next to me that hold in the silence and tiniest baby lizard doing pushups in the sun. If I’m still enough, these details become the foreground, the…

On grief, and the way it moves in my body

Once we have grieved something, does grief ever fully leave our hearts, or do we walk with it always? This morning I woke up feeling good, that anchor of loss that’s been following me the last few weeks, that descends into the center of my chest upon waking, was absent. Even the nature of it…

The bridge she did not cross

The snow muted all sound except the crunch beneath her feet and her escalating breath. Her destination was the top of a ridge across a small, icy river. Looking for a way to cross the water and scale the ridge, she happened across a snow-covered bridge, a delicate arch of dark red wood, slim boards,…

Bottom of the well

Like sludge at the bottom of a dried up well. Hundreds of feet of earth towers over me, the opening, a pinprick of sky, far beyond my reaches. My buckled body, folded in on itself, this deep dark mud slicked over forearms, streaked across my face, smeared on knocking knees. An out-breath. A shattering. My…

Beloved, I am here

The leaves start falling around here with what seems like no notice. The air has not changed, in fact, this September is warmer than the months it follows. There has been no cold snap, and no real hint of winter to facilitate leaves falling, or even changing color. And yet here they come – and…

Small Bites

My heart is at it again. I woke up this morning with that familiar feeling of longing, the sumptuous indulgence of replaying certain moments from last night. I stretch and sink deeper under covers, lips curved at the thought of a hand on my back, a piercing exchange, the curiously familiar sensation of this new…

Walking on Water, Laying Bricks

The birds are walking on water, and I’m laying bricks around my heart. The water this morning is deep enough to be a glassy surface, deep enough that some smaller birds are still paddling, leaving concentric ripples with their even strokes. I can only tell the tide is receding when they change flippers into legs,…

the magic of goodbye and hello

The sand sprays over the shining water, and rains down into the foam of the most recently crested wave. In the air, the carefully sculpted sand-balls burst into millions of tiny grains, diffusing what we had built, what we can’t live without, what we must live without. We hold hands and watch our gift to…